Esther, what was Christmas like at The Silver Line? What did callers want to speak about?
Esther Rantzen: Loneliness, above all. Over Christmas we also make outbound calls to people that we know have told us will be alone at Christmas. And speaking to some myself, I was appalled by the fact that even over Christmas so many of them go for days on end without talking to anyone. One lady, I’ll call her Evelyn, she is divorced, she has a no family, and I was talking to her the day after Boxing Day—so it was the Tuesday after Christmas—and she hadn’t spoken to anyone at all since the previous Thursday. I asked her how she felt about the New Year and she said she didn’t think she could bear another year like the last one; she’s reached the stage when she doesn’t actually get dressed, she stays in her pyjamas and dressing gown all day. She does go out on Thursday to a local group but she feels that they wouldn’t notice if she didn’t turn up.
Aside from the services that doctors can recommend, are there any practical measures that everyone can take to ensure that vulnerable older people in the community aren’t forgotten?
ER: Well I know of a fantastic project in Merseyside where the local fire service goes door to door to check people’s smoke alarms. This is inspired by the fact that many older people are real fire risks and it’s also based on the knowledge that a fire officer in uniform with a fire engine on the corner is someone who isolated and vulnerable older people feel they can trust; they don’t tidy up the place for them, they let them in and they can get a really clear realistic idea of how people are living. If one were to call on Evelyn, they would notice that she was still in her pyjamas and dressing gown, they would ask if she’s able to get out and about or whether she’s able to get visitors.
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I imagine a lot of people treasure their independence and don’t want to be seen as not being able to cope?
ER: There is a stigma attached to loneliness in old age. Another person I spoke to said quite frankly—this is one of the men who had called The Silver Line—that he finds that because he can talk to someone who can’t see him, who can’t identify him, he can be far more honest. This was somebody who is physically very disabled, suffers from cerebral palsy, who requires the kind of support that he can only get from a nursing home but all the other residents are suffering from dementia so it’s quite inappropriate for him. He’s desperately lonely and he says The Silver Line literally saves his life.
In other cultures older people are looked after by their family members but this doesn’t seem to be the case in this country. In addition to this, the facilities we do offer to care for older people aren’t always suitable. Do we need to find a system of support and care that is more holistic?
ER: I think we need to recognise that physical care and social care are not two separate worlds but are part of the same spectrum of care. We know that loneliness in old age has a disastrous effect on people’s health.
Why do people become so isolated? Is it loss of mobility, loss of a partner?
ER: Well loneliness in old age can be triggered by all kinds of loss. It can be loss of a partner, it can be loss of sight or hearing, it can be loss of a community—Evelyn had moved from a place where her friends used to live because her work took her there. It can be loss of mobility, loss of a driving licence, but the greatest loss of all is self-confidence. I was also talking to one of our volunteers who’s in her 90s, Bea she’s called, and she is so popular in her community and is a volunteer Silver Line friend so she reaches out to a lot of isolated older people who are younger than her. What she has is tremendous self-confidence, and the most disastrous effect of isolation and loneliness in old age is low self-esteem. You don’t go out because you think nobody wants to know you. In effect you’re in solitary confinement, which is usually a punishment for a serious crime.
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Do you think the current government is allocating enough resources or concentrating on this issue?
ER: I think it’s difficult to delegate to government. I think all of us in our communities, in voluntary organisations, in local authorities, as neighbours in the street, need to take this on as part of our responsibility as human beings. The old lady pushing the walker with their head down, not meeting your eyes, could be suffering from desperate depression and loneliness. You know old age can be a wonderful time. I met a lady of 92 over Christmas who told me it was the happiest time of her life. She felt that she was in charge of her own destiny, she had her health and strength, she can make decisions, she can decide to go on holiday, even though she’s on her own. So I think we need to be aware that if we can tackle this problem of loneliness in old age we may be saving the health service an awful lot of money and may be adding a huge resource to our own community because they have so much to offer—like Bea.
The Silver Line helpline is free, confidential and open 24/7:
0800 4 70 80 90, thesilverline.org.uk
If you enjoyed this article on loneliness in old age, click here to read more on Celebrity Angels about keeping your mind and body healthy during retirement.
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