If you have already had one child, surely there’s not going to be a problem having another?
Not necessarily. And unfortunately, when women struggle to conceive after already having a child, it’s a less visible problem. Many people have never heard the term ‘secondary infertility’ and fewer understand it, dismissing the issue with thoughts of “well, at least you already have one.”
Secondary infertility is defined by doctors as the inability to conceive or carry to term a second or subsequent child, and according to new research, it’s on the rise.
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Why is it happening?
“The main reason is age,” said London-based fertility expert Zita West. “Women are having babies later.”
Exhaustion also plays a part. “The sleeplessness of life with a small child can’t be underestimated,” she said. “You might still be breastfeeding, you might be sharing a bed with a toddler, you might be holding down a job at the same time. Basically, there’s not a lot of sex happening.”
But there might also be medical causes underlying secondary infertility issues. “The thyroid is always something we check. Birth can put the thyroid out of kilter,” West says.
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A hidden anguish
While women with secondary infertility may be looked on by those with primary infertility as less unfortunate, the condition has its own heartaches. Most people think that if you can have one child, you can have another—a misconception that leads to hurtful statements from neighbours and co-workers wondering when you’re going to give your little one a sibling.
Infertility is, in all its forms, a private, hidden anguish. Nobody wants to discuss the finer points of their reproductive system in public. And the desire to have a child can, if thwarted, be overwhelming. How can that be articulated to the casual inquirer?
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Seek support
Fortunately, infertility specialists are becoming more aware of the problems of secondary infertility and learning to deal with the stress it can create. If you’re suffering from it or suspect you might be, visit your doctor to get an official diagnosis, and seek emotional support from your partner, family and friends as you figure out next steps. There’s support to be had from charities such as The Fertility Network, and specialist clinics where you can find out more about areas such as in-vitro fertilisation (IVF), egg and sperm donation, fertility preservation (such as egg freezing) and other reproductive health and fertility issues.
